You navigated your way through pregnancy and now your baby is here…becoming a new mum can be wonderful and daunting at the same time.
After your baby is born, a “postnatal group” can be organized, where you can go and chat to the health visitor, get your baby weighed and meet other mums with new babies. These mums will be going through the same experiences as you and good friends can be made here. Your children will take their first steps at about the same time, learn to speak at the same time and perhaps start pre-school and even school together. Your local Children’s Centre may hold post natal classes.
- Toddle in
Be brave and be prepared to talk to other mums there. Don’t give up… it’s like starting a new school or new job… it can take some time to stop feeling like the new girl and start feeling that you “fit in” and are part of the group. Find a listing of your local Toddler groups.
As you get to know other mums a bit, invite one or two you feel you have something in common with to your house with their kids for a coffee and a play. Or invite them for tea: always a trying time of day. Based on our survey results, 6 out of 10 mums would like to make new friends – so statistically, that mum you start a conversation with will be just as pleased to talk to you… maybe she is more shy than you!
- Toddle out
Get out of the house. Anything is better than sitting at home with a baby all day every day watching daytime TV. There is lots of stuff going on for parents and kids every day in your local area: toddler groups, toddler swimming classes, indoor play centres, parks, farms… anything is better than trying to entertain a baby at home alone. Get your old clothes on and get stuck in! Check out all the places to go near you.
- Back to school
You need driving lessons before you can drive a car, a licence to own a dog – but why are we expected to just “know” what to do with a sleepless baby, a terrible toddler or an anxious child? Well, we don’t.
There are classes on parenting in most areas which include simple but amazingly effective techniques to help you deal calmly and sensibly with your child.
- Find time for yourself…
75% of mums find having no “me time” one of the major stress factors in their lives. You might find our page on rediscovering your identity of use. A bit of mutual support can give you that little bit of breathing space that makes all the difference. As you get to know mums and their children a little, offer to babysit while they go to the hairdresser or dentist or even just a couple of hours child-free shopping. They may then offer to reciprocate and it could become a regular thing. Babysitting circles are another way to fill the gap left by absent grandparents.
- … AND your partner!
4 out of 10 mums find their relationship with their partner stressful but 7 out of 10 of us turn to them when we are feeling down… So find time for each other – that babysitting circle could be just the thing.
- Get help
If you are struggling, FIND SOME HELP. There are support groups for almost everything, probably in your area. It is not a weakness to ask for help. You can’t expect to be a good mum unless you are well supported yourself. That’s what these groups are there for.
- Everybody needs good neighbours
If you are lucky enough to be one of those mums with loads of friends, think about the instruction you would give your own children: if someone looks lonely or left out, be the one to talk to them and include them in the group. These days, we all live in boxes and rarely talk to anyone we don’t know. Let’s talk to each other… look out for each other… be good neighbours.
Posted From iProdigy Group Nigeria(Dabibi Ori-ibim’s Blog).
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